MINOR ARCANA
SWORDS
King. He is a politician and, unlike Justice, he
holds his sword off-center, which indicates that he, like all
politicians, is easily bought. (Did I have to tell you
this?) However, the Highest Mysteries teach that, on an
alternate dimension, he is principally associated with the Sword
of Solomon, the Anvil of Art, the Orphic Egg (scrambled), Militant
Intelligence, and all that synergistically arises out of them.
Thus, he signifies a domineering but just man; a man of keen
intellect or no intellect; a good but harsh man, or a bad and
harsh man, or a good and lenient man; a loving but aloof man;
a sadistic but masochistic man; a man of the law or a career
criminal; a darkly complected man or a blond man; a man born
under Sagittarius or a man born above Sagittarius; a man who
is really only a boy, or a boy who only thinks he is a man; a
man who acts aggressively but does so charmingly; a man who is
a soldier or a peace officer, a fencing instructor or a tennis
instructor, a butcher or a candlestick-maker. Have
We forgotten anything? Oh, yeah, all of the above in a
woman but to a greater or lesser degree. In practical Tarot
work these “interpretations” remind you that no one
has any idea of how to interpret Court Cards. So why are
you reading this?
Queen. “Don’t fuck with me, fellas!
I’ve had bigger sharks than you for breakfast,” says
this no-nonsense Queen. This implies that it is an inopportune
time to invite your mother-in-law over for a quiet, home-cooked
meal to coax her into giving you the loan you desperately need,
because you and your spouse were stupid enough to buy a time-share
in the middle of the desert.
Knight.
This speedy
Knight in shining armor will soon enter your life to rescue you
from a boring and/or tragic existence. If ill-dignified:
Said Knight will be in such a hurry that he’ll leave
without even noticing you.
Page. Do not leave swords, guns,
or other deadly weapons where an emotionally disturbed child
or adolescent may find them. If especially ill-dignified:
You will soon ignore the preceding sage advise, the disturbed
child or adolescent will be yours, and he/she will have a bone
to pick with you. Don’t say that We didn’t warn
you.
Ten.
Fasten your
seat belt; it’s going to be a bumpy ride. If ill-dignified:
Same advise, but it’s going to be a crash landing over
water in sub-zero weather.
Nine. It can and will get worse.
But take courage, Daughter/Son of Earth, you will soon see the
light at the end of the tunnel. If ill-dignified: The
light will be that of a freight train heading right for you.
Eight. You will soon play blind man’s
bluff. Or, your spouse will soon be held hostage for a
mere one thousand dollars, whereupon you will callously reply
to the kidnappers, “Keep her (or him).” Hey,
it’s you’re karma. Ethically, the cards are strictly
neutral.
Seven. You will soon steal silverware
from a restaurant. If ill-dignified: The restaurant
will be the only one in town with a clandestine metal detector.
Six. You will soon visit Venice,
Italy, where you will travel on its many picturesque canals.
If ill-dignified: You will soon visit the beaches of Venice,
California, where you will barely be saved from drowning.
Five.
You are a victimizer.
You must explore alternative ways of obtaining what you want
from others; read How to Win Friends and Influence People.
If ill-dignified: You are a victim. You must explore
alternative ways of relating to others; read Machiavelli’s
The Prince.
Four.
Is your burial
insurance paid up? You do want your family to afford a
snazzy tomb like the one pictured here, don’t you?
If ill-dignified: Yes, your burial insurance is paid up,
but your spouse will opt for a cheap cremation and take a vacation
with what’s left over.
Three. There isn’t a chance in
hell, that you will receive a Valentine card this year.
If ill-dignified: The implication is the same—possibly
worse. (Did you really think that there was an out?)
Two.
This card means
“tenderness, affection, intimacy” according to Waite
(I’m serious!), who obviously didn’t tell the artist.
Anyhow, these purported meanings have absolutely nothing to do
with this card or you. If ill-dignified: The card
really does mean tenderness, affection, and intimacy, but because
it is ill-dignified, you will not enjoy any of them.
Ace.
“The crown
may carry a much higher significance than comes usually within
the sphere of fortune-telling,” says Waite. Who cares;
virtually all Tarotists, including you, use the cards for fortune-telling
(ok, ok, divination)—period.
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Copyright © 2000 James
W. Revak. All rights reserved. Version 1.0 (4/12/00).
